“Blessed to have two parents in the home. Yes it makes a difference!”
Angela posted this as her Facebook status last week. The 20-year-old grew up in Cabrini Green, the notorious crime-ridden, government housing complex in Chicago. During my last year of college, I became Angela’s “big sister” through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program at our school. At the time, Angela was only eight years old.
Angela and I come from vastly different worlds: I grew up on a dusty country road with abundant opportunities, and she on pavement surrounded by disadvantage.
To go to Angela’s home meant climbing six flights in a cold cement stairwell with lights that just barely flickered with life. On the top floor was a small cinderblock apartment that Angela shared with her parents, little sister, and occasionally, other family members. Her mother was kind and her father, quiet. Angela has a good mix of both along with a bit of unsuspecting sarcasm.
After I graduated, Angela continued to be mentored through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program – interestingly, by my biological little sister who started college that next fall.
Two years out of college found me developing and leading a youth ministry program for homeless and at-risk youth. I quickly learned the value of consistent, long-term mentoring for my students. But still, like most of Angela’s friends who were also mentored, her friends and many of my students can be counted as part of a statistic: of incarceration, dropout, or teen pregnancy rates.
Mentoring is so crucial for those who have started their life with less – less stability and less opportunity. But can anything fully replace the benefit of a child having both a father and a mother in the home?
Research also echoes Angela’s status update, namely that the two-parent home is consistently the most effective family structure.
Angela has recognized the blessing and beauty of God’s design. She has benefited from a grace that has made her life at 20 different from that of many of her friends. Indeed, two parents in the home has made all the difference.