We finally made it! After years of struggling and sometimes failing, we had achieved the American Dream. My wife, Meredith, and I each owned our own businesses and in January of 2002 we had reached a point of financial freedom that would allow us to build our 6,000 square foot dream home in an exclusive neighborhood. We had arrived and were ready to live our dream.
That was until Meredith called and expressed what she had been feeling: “If this is the American Dream; we have been lied to.” Meredith realized that our dream consisted of the temporary and held no lasting significance. I was even more surprised by what followed. Meredith asked me to take a year off of work and “figure out what God wants to do with this family.”
I spent the next couple of weeks praying over this idea – and crunching the numbers – before I finally agreed. On April 1, 2002 I began my sabbatical with a simple prayer, “Lord, show me your heart.”
Over the next year I studied and prayed. God showed me His heart for the poor, for the widow and the orphan, those in prison and the homeless. These were the people that I had tried to insulate myself from. But as I wrestled with these familiar verses, I realized that the Word didn’t quite fit the comfortable form of American Christianity I was living. God began to stir a passion in me to do something more.
We had not yet found any clear direction, but we knew we needed to live out Romans 12:1-2. Specifically, we desired to stop conforming to the patterns of the world and truly live transformed lives. Therefore, as a family we embraced the phrase “against the grain.”
In March of 2003, eight days before my sabbatical ended, Meredith rode to a women’s retreat with 23-year-old Kimberly, a single mother of three small children. For two hours Meredith listened to her story. The young mom had dropped out of high school in 10th grade because she was pregnant, and had little experience or the skills necessary to provide for the needs of her family.
Our 17-year-old daughter also attended the retreat that weekend. After observing an interaction between our daughter and Meredith, Kimberly stepped in saying, “if only I had a mother like yours I wouldn’t be where I am today.” What followed was the fruit of our meditation on Romans 12:1-2. In view of God’s mercy, Meredith presented Kimberly with an invitation: “I’ll be your mother.”
When Meredith came home and relayed this story, a clear vision emerged. I ran downstairs and wrote out a plan, we could walk with Kimberly as she learned new skills. When Meredith read the plan she began to cry. It was the same burden, the same idea that had spilled out: “I’ll be your mother.”
In April we began with Kimberly and by June we had nine young mothers and 28 kids in our little group. Just 18 months after Meredith’s phone call God had revealed his plan for our family. On August 4, 2003, Against the Grain became a 501(c)(3) nonprofit ministry.
The lessons that grew out of our time with these first nine moms have been compiled into The 180 Program. The program is now offered in jails, halfway houses and recovery programs here in Middle Tennessee and is expanding around the country. We have learned that insulating ourselves from others is not God’s plan. He has called us into relationships with those who are hurting.
We are still close with Kimberly. She finished her education, is now married and works as an office manager at a medical facility. We never built the “dream” house, but God is still allowing us to live our dream life; he just had to change the desires of our heart.
Rob Kendall is the Executive Director of Against the Grain, a nonprofit in Franklin, Tennessee. He and his wife, Meredith, are members of Shepherding the Next Generation.